Welcome home

I've been on a bit of a blogging hiatus but it's good to be back and starting my Monday with this post.

Our family took a little vacation to visit family in Park City Utah, celebrating my daughter's sweet 16th birthday while we were there.  I think it was one of our best vacations ever - even though we didn't even leave the house on many days.  We just hung out, cooked, ate, played games, watched the little ones chase each other through the house.  It was love filled and felt very full.  I woke up last Monday, back home in my own bed, feeling revived and just filled up with love and the good feeling of abundance that comes when you've been surrounded by those who love you.  Every morning since I've woke with the same feelings, and begun my day with some affirmations - Om Shanti, Om Mani Padme Um, Thank you God, May all beings know love.......

This last week brought a surprise visit from out of town friends and a nice long soak in the hot springs while we caught up.  I was also inspired listening to a talk by one of my favorite children's authors - Jeanne Duprau, author of the City of Ember series, which I'm in the middle of right now.  Jeanne spoke of writing about what you love, and big ideas that you never stop being curious about.  I'm not aspiring to a novel, but even a dabbler like me can be inspired by a master to write a little more, and hopefully, improve a bit.

Last night we had a dinner and Apples to Apples with old friends.  It feels so good to connect again.  And to enjoy Bella's dark chocolate cheesecake - amazing with friend Kim's brownies.  (I know that sounds like too much - but honestly, it was heaven).

Today I am working on some new Indian slow cooker recipes, baking bread, taking the dogs for a hike, and hanging out with Bella this afternoon.  She is beginning a new adventure and I'm so excited for her - more to come later about that.

This morning I want to end with a prayer of gratitude for one of my best friends in the whole world - our Lab-Kelpie mix Bear Cub, 12 years young and not quite himself these days.  I think he's losing his sight, and he's sore a lot, he doesn't follow me around all day like he used to.  Once upon a time there was just me and Buddy on the trail, and I could never ask for a more loyal friend.  He is good and sweet and tolerant.  For you Buddy - may you know love and happiness and comfort today.  May your heart be light.  I love you. 

Living with no regrets

Today I read a post on FB about a mom in my community who lost her little boy, just a toddler.  He never woke from his nap, after spending the day at his first friend's birthday party, seeing horses out his window and giving love and kisses to his family.  It's hard not to feel your heart breaking just knowing this.

His mom encouraged each person reading to live each moment, just like he did.  And to love.  She has no regrets.  When you live each moment, when you truly see the love in each human, there is nothing to regret.  What a kind gift for a grieving mother to pass to each of us.  Thank you.

I will do my part and remember this lesson today.  And tomorrow I will wake up and remember it all over again.  That is all we can ever do.

I've learned so much about the moment from my girls.  Little ones know better than to waste this precious time worrying the future or regretting the past.

Day 5 - Pancakes :)

My gift today is one of patience (well, sort of patience, still working on that one) and being a peacemaker in my family.  This is not a job I enjoy and one that I often just refuse to do.  But today, with much love, listening and reframing, I think can see some progress between two very hurt and angry people, who just happen to love each other very much.  Gifts are all about intention, and waking up to yelling today, I promised myself that I would help in whatever way I could, despite wanting to simply grab the dogs and leave for many hours.  The dogs and I will still have our little adventure, but I think a couple of hearts are feeling a tiny bit better because I chose to help.

Here's my gift to you today: 

Pumpkin Oat Pancakes 

(somehow everyone at my house is feeling better after a big plate)

2 cups ground whole oats (it will resemble flour)
1 tsp salt
1 1/4 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon

2 cups buttermilk or whole milk mixed w/ a tsp vinegar and/or part plain or vanilla yogurt (more yogurt results in a thicker batter)
2 eggs
1/4 cup oil
1/2 cup pureed pumpkin or canned

Mix dry ingredients and wet ingredients separately, then stir together.  Cook on a griddle and serve w/ butter and maple syrup.  (The oat flour results in a somewhat fragile pancake - a little trickier to flip than usual.  If you want easy to flip cakes, just sub some white or whole wheat flour for some of the oat flour).

Enjoy!

Love

Happy Valentine's Day.  Perhaps this day should occasion some profound remarks about love.  I dunno.  I haven't seemed to figure out much about love yet, except this:  I know it when I feel it.

In the last week I've felt it big and small, and I'm grateful for that.  My dear husband turned off the NBA yesterday and took a two hour wander through the woods at the river with me.  This entailed falling into pretty darn cold water while trying to keep me from falling in (of course I just ended up pulling him in with me), getting scratched up from stray tree branches and thorns, and stifling a laugh as I butt-scooted like the chicken I am across a log that was higher than I thought prudent.  The reward was a little time away from the rest of the world, in the warm February sunshine on a 50 degree day, with sunlight streaking through the trees and lighting up both our faces.  Having someone to share this wonder with was love, exactly.

I also felt love caring for a sick child, while sick myself, over a very long week which got progressively crabbier.  For my kid to know that I love her in all her sweaty, unwashed, sick neediness, as well as her bored to death and sick of dull old me grumpiness, is unconditional love, the only kind worth a damn.  It's the kind of love she's given me since the day she was born.

And to come home from work today, to a beautifully laid out table full of........cheese.  Now that is love.  Somehow I have raised a sweet child who's noticed I really really like cheese and crackers and apples for a snack, and spent some of her hard-earned ipod money on my favorite.  Sweet.

I hope the three of them felt plenty of my love this day too.  I'm not entirely sure, because it's been awfully squabbly around here tonight.  I told you I haven't figured love out yet.