Day 2 of Gratitude and Gifts: Thanksgiving

11 years ago my husband was given the gift of sobriety, although it didn't feel like a gift at the time.  It felt like a brutal, life-shattering slap across the face.  He lost his job, on the day before Thanksgiving, and in the aftermath of his coming clean about his addiction, he almost lost me.  Somehow we made it through, and somehow, for 11 (probably long sometimes) years, he's been clean.  I am so grateful for his twelve step program and for all of the other addicts who have helped him along the way.  I am so grateful for the immense power of gifts that slap you across the face and feel nothing like a gift.  I am grateful for learning and the freedom that comes from letting go of what's hurting you.

Happy Anniversary Mike.

Living with no regrets

Today I read a post on FB about a mom in my community who lost her little boy, just a toddler.  He never woke from his nap, after spending the day at his first friend's birthday party, seeing horses out his window and giving love and kisses to his family.  It's hard not to feel your heart breaking just knowing this.

His mom encouraged each person reading to live each moment, just like he did.  And to love.  She has no regrets.  When you live each moment, when you truly see the love in each human, there is nothing to regret.  What a kind gift for a grieving mother to pass to each of us.  Thank you.

I will do my part and remember this lesson today.  And tomorrow I will wake up and remember it all over again.  That is all we can ever do.

I've learned so much about the moment from my girls.  Little ones know better than to waste this precious time worrying the future or regretting the past.

Gratitude

On my facebook page a friend commented in a homeschool discussion that homeschool families typically fit a very narrow profile.  We can afford to make the choice to teach our own children because we are socio-economically privileged and that it's not a viable choice for most parents.  True perhaps although my family is hardly what anyone would call privileged.  So in typical monkey mind fashion I began mentally listing all of the "do withouts" in our family.  Everything everyone else has that we don't, etc.  Yuck.  You can guess how I started feeling pretty quickly.

So instead, I changed my mind about what that statement means to me.  Here's my list of all of the amazing wondrous privileges of our lives together, learning together.

I get to see my children grow and learn and participate fully in their lives.  Every day there is some moment of wonder.  Today Katy heard some little sis piano practice and swelled with pride when we shared together about how much her own practice has improved.

We are free.  Really free.  Today we can sit at the table and learn about viruses and make virus models.  Tomorrow we can jump in the car and head to Jellystone to study the crazy Archaebacteria living in the hot pots.  We can sleep in.  We can stay up until 1 am to see the meteors.  We can practice handstands in the yard at 10:30 am on a Thursday.  Few people anywhere in their lives have the kind of openness that we relish.

My children can follow their own interests and have plenty of time to pursue them.  Because we are not bound by curriculum or standarized testing we can devote time to puppy raising and dog agility, to growing our garden, to learning about raising chickens, photography - all rich and valuable topics full of amazing learning for my kids.  We do math and writing and social studies too, but it's fun to be able to do it creatively.

If we want to spend a lot of time on a particular subject, we can!  If we want to race through, we can!

We have so much fun together, not bound by time, desk, curricula, tests, schedules.....

We aren't bound by someone else's idea of what children should learn.  We read Thich Nhat Hanh, Gandhi, stories of the Saints, we talk about ethics and morality, problem solve about conflicts together.  I give my children plenty of room for the nuances and complexities of life, rather than rules in black and white, one size fits all.  We can let go of our judgment of others (at least we try hard) because we are happy doing what's right for our family.  We have the luxury of feeling safe each and every day.

We can use the benefits of the public schools - speech therapy (our teacher is awesome), and leave behind the waiting in line, the bullying, the crappy lunches.

I get to learn everything they are learning!

Are we privileged?  ABSOPOSITUTELY.  I will gladly drive a car as old as my teenager and forgo eating out and live in a teeny tiny house in a not so posh neighborhood........in return for all of the above and then some.  What an amazingly lucky deal.  Privilege?  Yeah, I guess so.