Day 2 of Gratitude and Gifts: Thanksgiving

11 years ago my husband was given the gift of sobriety, although it didn't feel like a gift at the time.  It felt like a brutal, life-shattering slap across the face.  He lost his job, on the day before Thanksgiving, and in the aftermath of his coming clean about his addiction, he almost lost me.  Somehow we made it through, and somehow, for 11 (probably long sometimes) years, he's been clean.  I am so grateful for his twelve step program and for all of the other addicts who have helped him along the way.  I am so grateful for the immense power of gifts that slap you across the face and feel nothing like a gift.  I am grateful for learning and the freedom that comes from letting go of what's hurting you.

Happy Anniversary Mike.

A peek at our day

A little peek at our Wednesday afternoon.  We worked hard at math, history and writing in the morning, then played away the rest of the day.  Being able to be outside on a glorious sunshiny day and follow my daughter's animal loving heart are just two of the many blessings of learning at home, on our own schedule.

In the quiet

It's taken me a year to finally sit down and create a blog.  How easily I am lost in the daily rhythms, how quickly the time slips away.

 But here I am, in a quiet house (well, relatively w/a puppy), my family gone for the weekend.  I am freed from many of the routines of our daily life:  fix breakfast, learn w/ the girls, walk the dogs, lessons, time for bed!  Instead, I ate whatever, whenever.  I lost myself in a project, uninterrupted for hours, I spent a whole evening laughing with a friend.  The freedom was lovely and left me a little lost at the same time.  Where are my anchors?  What's to keep me from flying off, swimming out into the surf?

While my "break" is lovely, and my sense of accomplishment in finishing long neglected tasks (somehow I finally managed to get those canning jars into the crawl space) is gratifying, I am finding how much I cherish those rhythms and tasks and anchors.  Meditation was peaceful this morning, but now the house is a little too quiet.  Where is my Bella, skipping through the house (tracking mud), into the kitchen, "What is there to eat Mama?"  Why does my so proudly clean floor (at 6 am yesterday!!!) seem so wrong?  I have had no questions or curious observations from Katy today.  Looking at her photo leaves me in awe of her imagination.

Alone, quiet, peace.......I need my chaos, keeping my spirit on the earth.

How amazing to have an affirmation:  I have all of the time I need, every day.  My life is just as it should be, the to-do list of my creativity has no expiration date.