New Year's Resolutions

I know lots of people hate resolutions, and maybe most don't do well keeping them, but to me they represent that eternal virtue, hope.  I have hope I'll do better this year, that this year will be happier than the last, and that I have some power to make positive changes in my life.  So I'm keeping the tradition, and wish me luck keeping the resolutions.

Since one of my biggest is to be gentler to myself, with the goal of being gentler in general as a happy result, I'm sharing my morning disaster.  I love Flathead cherries and last summer the girls and I pitted bagfuls and threw them in the freezer, for just such a day as today.  I woke up, whipped up a batch of cherry muffins to celebrate the new year, with the last of the frozen cherries.  But Mike was on the computer so I just jotted down the recipe quickly (doubling it of course) and somehow managed to forget the flour.  Ugh.  Wow.  Two whole pans into the garbage disposal.  It was painful for me to watch my sweet creation go down the drain (literally.)  I let myself get mad and sad. 

Then, because resolutions are on my mind, I remembered something - I'm supposed to be gentle.  Long sigh.  Deep breath.  I can't change it.  Everyone makes mistakes.  I silently apologized to the universe for the waste, threw some flour into the last of the batter and put another pan in the oven.  There were 15 more muffins, not ruined.  Not enough to have extra, but just enough to enjoy today for tea time.  I think they are going to taste extra sweet.  (Here's the recipe, I modify by adding cherries).

Yesterday the girls and I spent a couple morning hours making resolution cards to hang in the dining room, where we'd see them everyday - hopeful reminders to be the people we want to be.

Here's why B included "Be nice to cats."

Paris doesn't really enjoy dress up.

Here are the rest of my resolutions:

• Stop rushing, slow down, give myself time (and be on time)
• Delegate (K already took over menu planning !!)
• Practice being peaceful : Yoga & meditation & a little something extra to show kindness each day.
• Time to reflect, journal and blog each day.  Plus an email to my mom, who somehow gets lost in the shuffle of my life and I miss.
• Trust that God is leading me exactly where I need to go.
• More organization - with our school day, my work, our home.
• More diligence in sticking to the routines and rituals that enrich our lives.

Some are relatively easy and not really changes, I seem to always need help remembering to do what I want to do though.  Our resolution wall is meant as a visual reminder - to keep me on track.  Somehow it's easier to chuck 2 panfuls of muffins when "Encourage" and "Trust God" and "Gratitude" are staring back at me.

My goal isn't to make myself perfect but rather to live life as a practice, always circling in closer to who I really am, circling back to God and to peace.  Being gentle is as good a place as any to start.


Wishing you abundant resolve in 2011!