Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.
~ Rumi

Wonder

Wonder
Katy and the Pacific

Friday, April 30, 2010

Something yummy for Friday: Peanut Noodles

How can I not blog about food?  I'm obsessed.  So here goes, every Friday, one favorite recipe, just for you.  And it won't always be easy, healthy, vegan, etc.  But sometimes it will :)

Peanut Butter Noodles
Super duper easy, fast and portable.  11 year olds can make this dish for sure.  

a couple cloves of minced garlic
1/2 cup of pb (or cashew butter)
4 tbsp rice vinegar (or apple cider)
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp honey
1 tbsp toasted sesame oil (if you put this in first, then the honey, the honey slides out of the measuring spoon easier)
hot sauce to taste  (we like Frank's Red Hot)
grated fresh ginger (optional)
Mix all up, add in enough hot water to get it the consistency you like.  For topping rice or dipping tofu or veggie sticks, you might leave it thicker.  For noodles, make it runnier.

Add chopped cukes, broccoli, shredded carrots and cabbage if you like.  Chopped peanuts or cashews or toasted sesame seeds are good on top.

Serve over fried tofu, veggies, noodles or rice.  Or use as a dipping sauce.

This is especially nice to take along, it doesn't need refrigeration.  It's also good for colds (no dairy, lots of raw garlic and ginger).
You can double it and freeze some.

Enjoy!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

A flower for Thay

Opening "Peace is Every Step" tonight, wondering at the revelation I would encounter, I found this poem, by a friend of Thich Nhat Hanh's, who died at only 28.

Standing quietly by the fence,
you smile your wondrous smile.  
I am speechless, and my senses are filled 
by the sounds of your beautiful song, 
beginningless and endless.  
I bow deeply to you.

The "you" in the poem is a flower, a dahlia.  The writer was so moved by a flower, he stopped and wrote this poem.



Ah, to be so in the moment that we notice a thing of simple beauty, that we are touched deeply, as if by a lover.  This is living.

When I read the poem, my friend and neighbor filled my mind.  We exchange - words, pie, books, missing ingredients, sometimes tears, a sort of broken blender (for paper making) - through our fence (opened to allow exchange).  How much she enriches my soul.  Cheerful in the face of pain and a dreadful disease, cheerful in the face of any kind of woe, cheerful in the face of my grumbling (about the puppy, my husband, the weather!!).  Always with arms open, heart open, ears open.  She doesn't seem to know how to judge, saint behind the glass.  Occasionally I have to remind myself not to elevate her so, that she too is only human.  But I do think her doctor may discover her heart is abnormally sized.  Sometimes I let myself think about a day in which she does not call hello over the fence.  "Beginning and endless, I bow to you."  Thank you Thay.  I will treasure today, for this moment doesn't keep.  Let my senses fill.  



Tonight I came home late from work and everyone was asleep.  Sitting on the counter, one luscious piece of cream cheese cherry pie.  I don't even have to wonder where it came from.  And somehow it tasted like warm sunshine and laughter and a wry sparkle and love, on surely the coldest, most dreary, blizzarding night of this year.  I will have to get that recipe.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Top Ten



Top Ten :  Things I've learned from my dad

  1. Cussing does make you feel better sometimes.
  2. The weather is beside the point.  If there is something to be done outside, just do it.  Wear more clothes if you need to.  What do you think rain slickers are for anyway?  Stop complaining and get to work.
  3. Animals can be a whole lot better company than humans sometimes.
  4. Sincere gratitude is never a bad idea.
  5. Do it right the first time.  Hard work can make you really happy.
  6. Stuff doesn't not make you happy.  More tack however can make work a lot more comfortable.  Spending a lot of money on the right thing is not frivolous.
  7. Those little Dolly Madison apple pies really are good.
  8. You can learn a lot by watching other professionals in your field very carefully.  Probably more by watching than by asking a million questions.
  9. Forgiveness and understanding are powerful gifts.
  10. Sometimes distance helps you see (and love) someone more clearly and compassionately.
I love you Dad.


Happy Wednesday

This Wednesday I am reflecting back on what brought happiness this past week.

Three Things
  1. The almost full moon shining in through the window upon me last night as I lay trying to sleep after a sweet day.  It reminded me of a favorite poem,
    The sky was lit
    by the splendor of the moon
    So powerful
    I fell to the ground

    Your love
    has made me sure

    I am ready to forsake
    this worldly life
    and surrender to the magnificence
    of your Being

    - Rumi 
  2. Writing in our family holiday traditions book.  I started this book at Christmas time to record the little ways we celebrate uniquely as a family.  Yesterday's entry "For Katy's half-birthday, April 25th, pick the first rhubarb and make something yummy."  This time it was a crisp.
  3. The way the puppy cuddles me every morning.  At first she would jump up into bed and get very rascally - nipping, paws in the face, barking at me to get up and play.  But like all Lindbergs, now she has learned the lovely art of sleeping in a bit and she snuggles up quietly and snoozes for a few more minutes with me.  The rest of the day, when I find myself using expletives in front of her name, I try to think of this nice time together and her true nature.  And mine, happiness.
One Idea
  I was born early, had both my babies early, am known for being impatient, and despite all that, still manage to be late for just about every meeting, class, engagement I attend in life.  (SIGH.)  It makes no one happy in my life.  It makes Mike completely insane.  This weekend I somehow managed to make us late for a date, for Pete's sakes.  Henceforth, it is my goal for the coming month to be 5 minutes early for absolutely everything.  Today I got up 30 minutes earlier, thinking just maybe that would help.  And throughout the day I revised what I thought I could accomplish in a couple minutes.  If it could possibly make me late, I won't do it now.  Today's report:  Bella was on time for dog agility.  The first time all year.  Yay me.

Blue skies, shining on me.....may they shine on you as well.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Gratitude

On my facebook page a friend commented in a homeschool discussion that homeschool families typically fit a very narrow profile.  We can afford to make the choice to teach our own children because we are socio-economically privileged and that it's not a viable choice for most parents.  True perhaps although my family is hardly what anyone would call privileged.  So in typical monkey mind fashion I began mentally listing all of the "do withouts" in our family.  Everything everyone else has that we don't, etc.  Yuck.  You can guess how I started feeling pretty quickly.

So instead, I changed my mind about what that statement means to me.  Here's my list of all of the amazing wondrous privileges of our lives together, learning together.

I get to see my children grow and learn and participate fully in their lives.  Every day there is some moment of wonder.  Today Katy heard some little sis piano practice and swelled with pride when we shared together about how much her own practice has improved.




We are free.  Really free.  Today we can sit at the table and learn about viruses and make virus models.  Tomorrow we can jump in the car and head to Jellystone to study the crazy Archaebacteria living in the hot pots.  We can sleep in.  We can stay up until 1 am to see the meteors.  We can practice handstands in the yard at 10:30 am on a Thursday.  Few people anywhere in their lives have the kind of openness that we relish.

My children can follow their own interests and have plenty of time to pursue them.  Because we are not bound by curriculum or standarized testing we can devote time to puppy raising and dog agility, to growing our garden, to learning about raising chickens, photography - all rich and valuable topics full of amazing learning for my kids.  We do math and writing and social studies too, but it's fun to be able to do it creatively.




If we want to spend a lot of time on a particular subject, we can!  If we want to race through, we can!

We have so much fun together, not bound by time, desk, curricula, tests, schedules.....




We aren't bound by someone else's idea of what children should learn.  We read Thich Nhat Hanh, Gandhi, stories of the Saints, we talk about ethics and morality, problem solve about conflicts together.  I give my children plenty of room for the nuances and complexities of life, rather than rules in black and white, one size fits all.  We can let go of our judgment of others (at least we try hard) because we are happy doing what's right for our family.  We have the luxury of feeling safe each and every day.

We can use the benefits of the public schools - speech therapy (our teacher is awesome), and leave behind the waiting in line, the bullying, the crappy lunches.

I get to learn everything they are learning!





Are we privileged?  ABSOPOSITUTELY.  I will gladly drive a car as old as my teenager and forgo eating out and live in a teeny tiny house in a not so posh neighborhood........in return for all of the above and then some.  What an amazingly lucky deal.  Privilege?  Yeah, I guess so.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Thursday for Thay

Blessed Earth Day!
Because I believe only compassion can heal our planet and people, in honor of this day: 

Thor is the Norse god of thunder, of lightning, and the origin of our word "Thursday".  Thich Nhat Hanh is little Buddhist monk and spiritual teacher from Viet Nam.  When I read Thay ("teacher", as he is known to his students), I feel the power of a lightning bolt striking and a rumble of thunder within me.  He awakens the compassionate center and calls me to action.

Each Thursday I will share a teaching  from Thay.  
This week:  mantras for your beloved one, your partner.

Mantras for the Beloved One
  1. Darling, I'm here for you. 
  2. And I'm very happy.
  3. Darling, I know you are suffering.  That is why I am here for you.
"To be loved means to be recognized as existing.  You embrace your beloved with mindfulness.  These mantras can bring happiness right away" simply by acknowledging your beloved one with your presence.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

My Happiness Project

For my book club this month, one of the ladies chose the book, The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin.  As a huge believer in personal happiness as a way to global happiness, I was an enthusiastic reader!  Gretchen embarked on a year long quest to see if she truly could increase her own happiness and along the way found that she also increased many others' joy too.  Each month she focused on a particular area of her life, her marriage, her daughters, her work, having more fun.  And she came up with personal resolutions she tried hard to follow each day, complete with a check-list.

In the spirit of increasing my happiness (and maybe yours), every Wednesday I will be posting about 3 things that make me happy + 1 method I'm trying to find more happiness + 1 photo.  We'll just call it Happy Wednesday (a great day right in the middle of the week - named for Norse god Wodin!).  Maybe exploring creativity will be a good beginning project!

Three Things

 1. Waking up and knowing I have a whole day ahead of me with my girls.  Posted on my bathroom mirror, a little watercolor picture of a boy with his chickens, with the words:  "Waking up this morning, I smile.  Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.  I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion"  ~ Thich Nhat Hanh.

2.  The sound of birds outside my window.  We have 3 bird houses and they get busy and hatch babies every spring.  This renewal of life and the enthusiasm of the chirping cheers me greatly.

3.  My 13 year old daughter's innate compassion.  One sweet example:  noticing a little 5 year old friend was needing some one on one attention, she woke early this morning (not her favorite idea), finished her chores and piano, and took her to the park to play.  Just because.  

One Idea

I started running with my younger daughter (age 11).  I love to run but don't always make the time or often overdue it and exacerbate an injury.  But this time I've got a partner, we've got a goal (Sweet Pea 5K run) and we play an imagination game while we run (sort of an Avatar fantasy - I am currently a Nymph who controls the weather and communicates with all living things - fun stuff for the imaginatively stifled!).  This fills my resolutions to have more fun, get better exercise, get more sunshine, stretch my creativity and do something with my daughter that she loves.





Monday, April 19, 2010

Top Ten

I just love top ten lists and make them frequently to organize my thoughts, and keep positive.  So, in an effort to generate more happiness  in my life generally (a la the Happiness Project which I am now reading with my book club), and more peace in my marriage specifically, here is my
Top Ten Things I Love about My Husband
(in no particular order, and yes, there are a lot more than 10 things I love about him)
He's incredibly photogenic, and like a baby, tends to make everyone else in the photo look better too.  
He'll eat just about anything I put on his plate, usually without negative comment, even when I know he doesn't really like it.
He's great in the sack.  Nuff said.
He hardly ever criticizes me, usually only if I criticize him first.  I could take that two ways, either I'm perfect (not) or he just doesn't criticize.  An extremely nobel virtue.
He loves family vacations, whenever, wherever and his enthusiasm is contagious to a wife who doesn't really like to travel, ride in planes or cars, eat food out of her house or spend THAT much time with her kids.

He doesn't mind that I call his cell phone an average of 12 times a day.  Just to say hello.  Just to see what he's up to.  Just because I'm bored.
He has a ridiculous memory for movie quotes, song lyrics, etc.  It's highly entertaining to someone who can't remember a single quote or joke, ever.
Baby blue eyes.
A reasonably forgiving nature.  Because TOO much forgiveness is not a good thing.
A kind and generous nature, especially to total strangers, which were I more generous myself I would find easier to tolerate.


What do you love about your partner?  How do you remind yourself when you find your marriage in a funk?

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Crunchy mama, part 1

Adventures in Sourdough

I baked two loaves of sourdough bread today.  Because I can.  Not because an entire wagon train or sod-roofed cabin full of 13 hungry children were depending on me. 

Why would I do such a thing?  The project began approximately two weeks ago, when my 13 yo daughter whipped up a batch of starter.  Since I don't drink (see below) I thought I better do something productive with it.  And, well, it's kinda fun.  Fun in an accomplished, foodie sort of way, not in an instant gratification, last minute kind of way.  Fun to think "I could have survived the frontier!  I know how to make sourdough bread!"  And it's really really tasty with warm butter and homemade strawberry jam (that's a future post - the plants aren't even blossoming yet).  And it just seems crunchy, in a back to the earth, I can do it myself, two year old kind of way.  Crunchy I am.
So for all of you dear readers out there who want to make your own (and stand a little taller, in a couple weeks when it's finally done)......here goes.  A few things might be helpful before you get baking.  1.  Coming from Viking stock is really good.  Viking descendants just don't know when to stop and they routinely try things they probably aren't quite cut out for.  If you are at least part German that would help.  2.  Having nothing better to do than play around with flour in the kitchen for many many hours is also good.  3.  If you've been told "You need more patience my dear!" then this project is just the ticket.

 The Starter

A really long time before you want to eat your bread, combine 1 cup warm water (105F), 1 tsp active dry yeast (make sure it's fresh), and 1 cup whole wheat flour (I use Wheat Montana, because it's local and it's good) in a glass or ceramic bowl.  Stir w/ a wooden spoon until it's pretty smooth (some lumps are ok).  Cover with a clean cloth.  Let it stand in a warm place (that wouldn't be anywhere near my house lately) for at least a day.  Stir every day, and every couple days add 1 cup of warm water mixed w/ 1 cup of whole wheat flour and stir in.  A clear liquid will form on top (this is the "hooch" - and if you are desperate for a fix you can drink it).  Stir it back into the starter.  The starter will smell like alcohol and fermentation (because that's just what it's doing!).  Once it's bubbling nicely and making hooch, you're ready for bread.  (You can also stir a cup into a batch of buttermilk pancakes).  If the starter ever turns pink or just plain weird, THROW IT AWAY FOR GOD'S SAKES!!!  This happened once to me.  Shudder.

The Overnight Starter, the next morning

The night before you want to bake bread, make the overnight starter.  Mix 1 cup sourdough starter, 2 cups warm water, and 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour in a glass or ceramic container, with a wooden spoon.  Cover and let stand overnight.  (I turn my oven on to the lowest temp, let it heat, turn it off, then let the starter rise inside the oven.)

It's morning!!  Hooray.  You are finally ready to bake today.  Now, heat 1 cup of milk in a saucepan until ALMOST boiling (just really warm).  Stir in 3 tbsp butter (please don't use margarine!), and 3 tbsp sugar and 2 tsp salt.  Then let cool for 10 minutes.  Meanwhile, dissolve 1 envelope active dry yeast in 1/4 cup warm water.  Stir both yeast and milk mixture into the overnight starter.   Now beat in 3 cups of flour, until smooth.  Cover with a cloth and let rest in a warm place free of drafts (was there such a place on the prairie?) for 30-40 minutes or until almost doubled in size.  This step is also called the SPONGE.  Weird, I know.

The Sponge!  After rising.

Ok, so you took a little break, maybe caught a nap, now it's time to turn this sucker into real dough.  Oh, no, nope, you're not ready to bake yet.  Remember, this is an exercise in patience.
Stir down the sponge.  Gradually stir in enough flour to make a medium-stiff dough.  Your arm will be tired.  Don't break your spoon.  Turn out onto a floored surface and start kneading.  You will have to keep adding flour.  Your goal is a smooth and elastic, non-sticky dough.  Your arms will be burning and it will take at least 10 minutes.


Divide the kneaded dough in half, shape into balls.  Cover and let rest for 10 minutes.  Give yourself a pat on the back - if your arms aren't too tired - you're are almost done!


Roll out each ball into a long rectangle, then roll up the rectangle and pop your loaf into a greased bread pan.



Spray the tops of the loaves with cooking spray, cover with a cloth, and put back in a warm place for the FINAL rise.  It will take about an hour for the dough to rise up above the top of the pan.


Preheat the oven to 375 and bake for 45-50 minutes until loaves sound hollow when you tap them (they really do have a "done" sound).  Remove from pans and cool on a wire rack.  You can brush the tops w/ butter if you like.  I like.

Ta Da!

Bread and Jam for Bella

This bread is moist, but dense and chewy, with a super chewy crust and a nice tangy taste.  Don't eat more than one piece at a time or it will sit like a lump in your belly and you'll be very sorry.  It's really good grilled up, or just toasted w/ honey or jam.  You know "Bread and Jam for Frances"?  If her mama gave her sourdough, she would've never gotten sick of eating it.